Peevish

Monday, November 07, 2005

In Which Britain Confuses Me



There are things that I don't understand, and I'm asking for explanations.

First, WTF exactly is a curly-wurly? I know that it's candy of some sort, but what exactly is the confectionary composition of a curly-wurly? Anyone willing to do a cultural exchange could expect some American candy back. I can get Malteasers, Smarties, Yorkie bars, and Aero here, but no damn Curly-wurlies.

Second, WTF is with the weird food names? Spotted Dick? Bubble & Squeek? Baps? Cock-a-leekie, for fucks sake??!! I got my brother Heinz' Canned Spotted Dick - Microwaveable! - for Christmas last year and thought he'd burst a blood vessel giggling. Ever seen a 28-year-old straight man giggle? It's not pretty.

Third, WTF is with the 2-finger salute? We only need one finger to accomplish the same sentiment here. One finger not good enough for you?

Fourth, Um, tea? WTF? When did tea change from a beverage to a meal? Hel-loooo?

And lastly, WhyTF is your accent, no matter what the geographical origin, so alluring? I mean, I'd shag any of you if you'd only read the newspaper headlines aloud first. It wouldn't have to be the headlines - it could just be the telephone book. WTF? Or maybe I'm just an accent whore. I think I answered that one for myself.

Answers appreciated, though hardly necessary.

posted by Peevish McSnark at 7:14 PM

5 Comments:

  • When did tea change from a beverage to a meal?

    i think it has to do with the blandness of the rest of british cuisine. considering the alternatives, who wouldn't want tea to be an entire meal

    By Blogger upyernoz, At 10:15 AM  

  • Oi! Tea is your tea! Here in the north of England, your main meal of the day is called "tea", rather than dinner, which is what other people call "lunch". And British food isn't bland, not by any stretch of the imagination.

    A curly wurly is a curly wurly, ruler-length of toffee that is coated in chocolate. Looks a bit like a little chocolate latter I suppose.

    Two fingers come from the Battle of Agnicourt. The Frenchies used to chop the English archers' bow fingers off when they captured them so it was a great insult for those with intact digits to give teh two fingered salute as an act of defiance. We've been doing it to the French ever since and they hate us for it.

    I've never had spotted dick.

    Some accents are horrid and some really do signpost how stupid somebody is.

    Happy to help.

    By Blogger Sniffy, At 1:44 PM  

  • *chocolate ladder, not latter

    By Blogger Sniffy, At 1:45 PM  

  • BigDov, I adore a Scottish accent, especially in a deep male voice. Makes me weak in the knees.

    Tina - thanks for the answers. My next oeuvre will be In which I am confused by the French.

    Noz, I haven't had British cuisine firsthand, but Steak & Kidney pie really says it all for me. YUCK!

    By Blogger Peevish McSnark, At 6:50 PM  

  • A properly made steak & kidney pud is fuckin' delish. You've probably only tasted the Fray Bentos tinned variety (dog food in a puff pastry case).

    By Blogger garfer, At 4:43 PM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]



<< Home