Stealing Christmas?
Over the past week, I've gotten, like, 3 emails from dipshits people who were concerned that the mythical "they" were "stealing Christmas." What the fuck?
Theseasswipes concerned souls were upset because people weren't walking around willy-nilly wishing perfect strangers a "Merry Christmas." Another thing that made them whine like selfish little babies peevish was that businesses weren't displaying Christmas-themed decorations, and were instead opting for the neutral Winter or Holiday-themed decor. What really cheesed them off, though, is when innocent souls would wish them "Happy Holidays." Their belligerent response was that they would respond to these offensive wishes by loudly wishing the offender a "Merry Christmas," instead.
Um, I reiterate: what the fuck? Since when is anyone required to cater to any one religious holiday? Didn't the founders of this country guarantee us the right not to have to cater to one religion? Didn't people die for this right?
One part of their argument is that for centuries the people of this country went around wishing each other Merry Christmas with no argument, and this faceless, nameless "they" that are stealing their Christmas is tampering with a long-standing tradition. Well,dumbassconcerned Christian, when you can count the history of your country in centuries on ONE HAND, then I really don't think you can bitch. Mkay? Also, the women in some African countries have been practicing female circumcision for centuries. Does that make it ok to you? Do you want people to wish you "Merry Clit-ectomy Day?" Me neither!
The part that really toasted my chestnuts was the argument that by not wishing perfect strangers a Merry Christmas, you run the risk of offending 85% of Americans, as that is the percentage of Christians in America. Well excuse the fuck out of me! If someone, let alone the average self-centered American, goes out of their fucking way to wish me a Happy fucking Holiday, I'm going to smile graciously and accept their good wishes, as anyone raised with manners would do!
And, hey - news bulletin: I'm not among the 85%. I still have a tree, wreaths, and little statues of Santa. I've decked my fucking halls. I troll the ancient yuletide carol, too. Why? Because Christmas has become a wonderfully consumerist holiday. Yes, I believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and the Great Pumpkin. I'm also a greedy bitch who wants presents at any and all opportunities. So cough up,cunts Christians, and bring on the bling.
These
Um, I reiterate: what the fuck? Since when is anyone required to cater to any one religious holiday? Didn't the founders of this country guarantee us the right not to have to cater to one religion? Didn't people die for this right?
One part of their argument is that for centuries the people of this country went around wishing each other Merry Christmas with no argument, and this faceless, nameless "they" that are stealing their Christmas is tampering with a long-standing tradition. Well,
The part that really toasted my chestnuts was the argument that by not wishing perfect strangers a Merry Christmas, you run the risk of offending 85% of Americans, as that is the percentage of Christians in America. Well excuse the fuck out of me! If someone, let alone the average self-centered American, goes out of their fucking way to wish me a Happy fucking Holiday, I'm going to smile graciously and accept their good wishes, as anyone raised with manners would do!
And, hey - news bulletin: I'm not among the 85%. I still have a tree, wreaths, and little statues of Santa. I've decked my fucking halls. I troll the ancient yuletide carol, too. Why? Because Christmas has become a wonderfully consumerist holiday. Yes, I believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and the Great Pumpkin. I'm also a greedy bitch who wants presents at any and all opportunities. So cough up,
posted by Peevish McSnark at
8:35 PM
7 Comments:
Oh Bronwen - you're getting so good at using THAT word aren't you?
By
pissoff, At
12:21 AM
Really, do we Christians actually want everybody glibbly wishing us Merry Christmas in the stores? First we complain that it is getting too commercial and then we complain that they are taking Christmas out of the commercial part. I'm not sure how to best express it, but somehow something seems odd about that.
Then there is the question of who stole what from whom. It's not like Christmas is actually Jesus' birthday. Is is just me or is there some irony in Christians claiming that "their" holiday is being stolen when the timing of the Christmas celebration was designed to replace the Roman Saturnalia celebrations and other pagan winter festivals?
By
Recovering Packrat, At
1:42 AM
Oh, I love that they're "stealing" it. Like the Grinch! I'm so going to wait up on Christmas Eve to see if a sickly green fellow takes my tree up the chimney.
Who turns Christmas into a competition? That's so hostile and strange.
WV: maiwe -- terribly misspelled French?
By
Whinger, At
12:19 PM
Some fuckwit tosser PC gobshite over here claimed that Christmas should be renamed 'Winterval' as senistive Muslims/Hindus/Jews/Rastas etc might be offended by the term.
By
garfer, At
3:15 PM
April, I've always been good at using THAT word. The hormones tend to bring it out of me... If you wanted to take the piss, though, you could say I've gotten awfully good at using the strikethrough text...
By
Peevish McSnark, At
4:25 PM
One thing I always liked about reading your blog is your effective use of profanity. You can get the point across and be funny without using it like a comma like I do. Well done.
By
Anonymous, At
11:31 PM
Haha. We liked this post.
We're sick of all THOSE too!
By
Anonymous, At
2:18 AM
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