Zookeeping at its finest
Since the semester change, I have received two new classes. One of them is an 8th grade course called "World Cultures" and is basically a dumbed-down version of my 7th grade French course. The students in the class are not the sharpest tacks in the box, but since there are only 9 of them, it really doesn't matter. Plus, there are only 3 boys, and that does matter, as teenage boys are the most disruptive force in the known universe. These three are the worst of the lot.
One of the boys, we'll call him T. Bone, is a trip. This is his second year in 8th grade, and he's barely hanging in there. He's been arrested 3 times so far this year, and began the year wearing an electronic monitor ankle bracelet. He has to call his Parole Officer 4 times a day now and is on house arrest when he's not at school. He's quite the prize.
T.Bone had accrued his "Three Strikes" in my class - our discipline system allows for three misbehaviors, short of assaulting a teacher, and then you get written up and removed from the classroom - but I wasn't sending him out. No way. I know that it's a much worse punishment for T.Bone to stay in my class than to cruise the halls on his way to the Principal's office. I told him I wanted him to stay in my classroom so I could continue looking at his pretty face, at which point, he flopped down in his desk and muttered "Motherfucking gosh!"
Motherfucking gosh? Motherfucking gosh? I noted it and told him to see me after class, which he did.
When the room cleared, I sat down in front of him and said "T. Bone, 'Motherfucking gosh?' C'mon man. If you're going to drop the 'motherfucking' you might as well go for the gusto and say something really good after it, like 'motherfucking son-of-a-bitch' or 'motherfucking cocksucker' or even 'motherfucking asshole' if you're not feeling particularly creative. But 'motherfucking gosh?' You can do better."
The gobsmacked look on T.Bone's face was priceless. I don't think he's ever heard a teacher say "cocksucker." He probably never will again.
One of the boys, we'll call him T. Bone, is a trip. This is his second year in 8th grade, and he's barely hanging in there. He's been arrested 3 times so far this year, and began the year wearing an electronic monitor ankle bracelet. He has to call his Parole Officer 4 times a day now and is on house arrest when he's not at school. He's quite the prize.
T.Bone had accrued his "Three Strikes" in my class - our discipline system allows for three misbehaviors, short of assaulting a teacher, and then you get written up and removed from the classroom - but I wasn't sending him out. No way. I know that it's a much worse punishment for T.Bone to stay in my class than to cruise the halls on his way to the Principal's office. I told him I wanted him to stay in my classroom so I could continue looking at his pretty face, at which point, he flopped down in his desk and muttered "Motherfucking gosh!"
Motherfucking gosh? Motherfucking gosh? I noted it and told him to see me after class, which he did.
When the room cleared, I sat down in front of him and said "T. Bone, 'Motherfucking gosh?' C'mon man. If you're going to drop the 'motherfucking' you might as well go for the gusto and say something really good after it, like 'motherfucking son-of-a-bitch' or 'motherfucking cocksucker' or even 'motherfucking asshole' if you're not feeling particularly creative. But 'motherfucking gosh?' You can do better."
The gobsmacked look on T.Bone's face was priceless. I don't think he's ever heard a teacher say "cocksucker." He probably never will again.
posted by Peevish McSnark at
2:31 PM
3 Comments:
That poor kid probably thought he was in the Twilight Zone.
He sounds like a charmer. Two rounds of eighth grade with an ankle bracelet. I only pray he's not a lifer by the time he's twenty.
By
Maidy, At
4:13 PM
I just loved this story.
By
Anonymous, At
5:34 PM
LOL!!
You sure have a gem of a student there. Sounds like he's got the system figured out so he knows what to do to get out of class. Poor boy, he doesn't know what he's up against.
By
Recovering Packrat, At
11:01 AM
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