Peevish

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Love You Forever, my ass!

Listen, those of you who are parents, if you've ever been tempted to buy the book Love You Forever for your children, you'd better get that fucking idea out of your head right now.

You can read the Amazon reviews - the assholes who loved this book, and they are legion, are all full of "poignant," and "touching," and "wistful," but I think they're full of shit. Anyone who's read this damn book and can get through the fucking thing without breaking down in floods of tears is a hero, in my opinion. Bastard reviewers with their misleading 5 stars.

I'm telling you this because I read the thing to Miss Peanut tonight - she picked it out on a recent bookstore shopping spree - and both of us turned into bawling fools. By the middle of the book, Miss Peanut was tearfully wailing "I'll miss you when I'm old." I wasn't any better, since I could empathize with the mother in the story and her deep and abiding love for her child, and had to choke back sobs whenever I read the song the mother always sang to her child - which was on every other fucking page! I tried to put the book down, telling Miss Peanut that it was too sad and we shouldn't finish it, but she wanted to hear it all, even as fat teardrops ran down her chubby baby cheeks. I had to quaver my way through to the end.

This is the saddest, most depressing goddamn book I've ever read. It's a children's story, for fuck's sake. It should't make you weep.

I'm hiding the fucker tomorrow so I never have to read it again.

4 Comments:

  • This is a HORRIBLE book. The tears, the sobbing, the choked reading at the end.

    "As long as I'm living, my baby you'll be...."

    Why? WHYYYY?

    By Blogger Whinger, At 11:52 PM  

  • I used to love/hate this book too, til' someone on the Chicklit forums reuined it for me:

    http://www.chicklit.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=000364#000012

    By Blogger portuguesa nova, At 8:34 AM  

  • I see that the book has brought out the whole spectrum of your emotions. You may not think so, but I'm sure this is a good thing.

    Burn it and post the pictures.

    By Blogger Sniffy, At 8:06 PM  

  • Whole spectrum? Bollocks.

    Where's the joy? There's no fucking joy in the story. It's a sob-fest from page 6.

    I may just burn it, at that. She tried to get me to read it again tonight. I refused. No crying at night 2 days in a row.

    By Blogger Peevish McSnark, At 9:35 PM  

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