She Gives Fat a Bad Name

With my apologies to Bon Jovi, I really have to vent here about something that's been on my mind for a while. I never could pinpoint what it was that bothered me about it - or more specifically why it never bothered me like I felt it should - but I had one of those brain-shaking, eye-popping epiphanies the other day.

See, I work with a woman who just never stops eating. Her students would always talk about hearing the rustle and crunch during their reading time in her classroom. They would complain that most of her assignments revolved around food and eating, and that they always had to bring food in for projects. My other coworkers would poke fun at her, too - they'd share "Funny Jane* stories" during our lunch period. Usually, these stories would revolve around Jane's obsession with food and eating. This would sometimes discomfit me, as Jane and I were about the same size - rotund - but my colleagues, when they picked up on my discomfort, would rush to assure me that Jane and I were not in the same league. They weren't specific about how we were different, just that we were.

Oooookay, see here's where it gets a bit sticky. I think one of the few differences between Jane and me is that I kept my overeating private. Whenever we'd have a luncheon - inservice days, birthdays, etc - I would put a decorous amount of food on my single plate, certainly eating it all, complimenting the chef, and would admit my gluttony by taking two desserts. I certainly never took anything away with me - that would just be admitting to gluttony. It doesn't mean that I wouldn't make a stop at Starbucks for a Venti Iced Caffe Mocha and a slice of marble pound cake later. I just didn't want to look like a pig in front of my coworkers. Jane was way more upfront about her eating. At any of the above food-related gatherings, Jane would have 3 plates, piled high, and take a couple of desserts for the road. I silently marveled at her brazen attitude, and sometimes admired that she didn't seem to care what other people thought about her.

Since I've lost a lot of weight (133 pounds to date), I've been even more uncomfortable about the "Funny Jane" stories, because I don't like to mock other fat people.** So much has been said about Fat being the last socially acceptable prejudice, and those that say it can just line up and bite my wrinkly, sagging, flat-formerly-fat ass. It's not socially acceptable, and no matter how many Funny Jane stories I hear, I won't still inwardly cringe at the there-but-for-the-grace-of-my-surgeon implications of them.

Anyhoo, my revelation came during the latest Funny Jane story. Final exam week started on Friday, which means that we have half-days. Students are waiting to eat lunch at home, opting instead to go to the gym and play basketball or hang out on the bleachers with their friends instead of eating the foul slop hot lunch served by our cafeteria. This is where it gets sticky (and watch the pronouns here) - Jane asked LaQuisha*** to go get her lunch before LaQuisha headed to the gym so that Jane could eat it. LaQuisha, bless her, just laughed and said "Oh, Miss Jane, you so funny!" and hit the gym.

When my coworker, who witnessed this exchange, related this latest in the Funny Jane compendium at our lunch hour, I was completely and utterly gobsmacked. (Side note - there is no word in American English that compares with the British "gobsmacked" for expressing the slack-jawed, bug-eyed astonishment that I felt in that moment. Gobsmacked - your word of the day.) It finally hit me, during those brief moments when I gaped in horror at this latest tale, that Jane was just completely shameless. No shame in her game. She stooped to asking a kid for her lunch. Jane's not hurting financially - hell, I know for a fact that she went out to lunch with other coworkers after the kids were dismissed.

What finally hit me - the brain-shaking epiphany? Is that people like Jane make all of us (and when I say "us," I mean women of size** in general) look bad. It is people like her that keep the stereotype of the insatiable slovenly glutton alive and well today. They make us resort to the subterfuge of eating miniscule amounts in public while gorging ourselves in private. They make us the butt of jokes - the last socially accpetable ones, remember? - by playing into the public's negative stereotypes of fat people.

Frankly put, she gives Fat a bad name.


*obviously, her name's not Jane.
**I'm still fat in my head. I will be for a while. Don't judge.
***not her name either, but representative.