Boobtacular!

So today I went out wearing a lovely burgundy wrap top with a really neat lariat necklace made of garnets that just barely grazes the top of my cleavage.

I don't think my breasts have ever been appreciated in quite the quantity that they were today.

First, the Starbuck's barista said "Hello" and "Thank you very much," to them.

Then, the Acme guy told them "I don't know if we have any more lunchboxes. I'll have to check."

After that, the waiter at dinner tonight served my delicious fish tacos and wished my breasts "Bon Appetit."

I felt like I was Captain Chesty McChesterton of Team Breast, D-division.

Um, listen fuckers fellas, my bosom doesn't hear, speak, or eat. Look about one foot north. Yes, those blue things? They're my eyes. Look at them when you address me, ok?

Sheesh.