Furniture issues

I'm living in a goddamn furniture warehouse.

Let me explain: I used to have my living room in my dining room. I want to put it back that way. After, literally, months of alternately pleading, cajoling, demanding, and pouting, I finally got the WCM talked around to my way of thinking. Oh, did I mention the 42-inch flatscreen television that I had to pretend to be reluctant to get in order to seal the deal? Men. Why do you make us manipulate you so?

Anyhoo, once I had the WCM talked around, my father, the General, asked me if I wanted a new dining room table. "Sure," said I. "Let's get new chairs!" said the WCM, in a move that stunned us all. Too gobsmacked to resist, I allowed myself to be towed along in a chair-shopping expedition (once again, why do you make us manipulate you? Why? New chairs? Wheeeee!), where six beautiful hand-carved Chippendale chairs were purchased. Give me a moment, I'm having a chairgasm. Oooooh, they're gorgeous.

Unfortunately, their gorgeousness is currently residing in my dining room along with the new dining room table, the old dining room table, a china cabinet, and a buffet. Plus? There's the other incidental furniture that's not really moving, like a blockfront chest and an upright piano. Packed tighter than a Tokyo subway, I tell you.

Oh, yeah, lest I forget and give you an incomplete picture, there's also a massive Georgian corner cabinet in my future dining room. The WCM, carried away in an orgy of spending, decided that since we were divesting ourselves of our china cabinet and buffet, we'd need a place to display our wedding china & crystal. So Ethan Allen supplied us with a corner cabinet of gargantuan proportions - equal in gorgeousness to the chairs. Did I act eager? Hell no! I said "Oh, I don't really remember seeing a corner cabinet (Georgian, wasn't it? Mahogany? Lit within with glass shelves? Hmmm?), was there one there? D'you really think we need one?" So now, I am living with one. I think I'll name him Humphrey and start snogging him regularly, he's so gorgeous. Ok, maybe not snogging. Dusting, perhaps.

Now, there was a company here in Wilmington that was going to take all this excess furniture off my hands, but someone there got her knickers in a twist because I had her come to the house to witness the beauteousness of the old furniture. Ok, it's not incredibly fabulous or hand carved, but it's handsome mahogany Hepplewhite furniture. Bitch said they weren't interested in it. What-evah! Lucky for me, I've got some entrepreneurial relatives who are going to take this off my hands and sell it. At this point, I don't care if I make money on it or not. Just get this stuff outta my house!

I used to have a dust problem. Now, I've got a furniture problem. Help!