Birthday imps...

So it's my birthday today - 38, to be exact, and I've had a wonderful day of it. The WCM is on his way home now to take me out to dinner. I've chosen a very expensive, but exquisitely delicious, steakhouse to go to, all because they have Bearnaise. I love that sauce... but I digress. I was telling you about my birthday.

I woke up late, skipped exercise class - because it's my birthday, dammit! - and received online b-day wishes from one of my closest friends. After taming my mane - I went to bed with wet hair last night and was rocking a sweet faux-hawk this morning, I took myself off to Starbuck's for an indulgent breakfast drink. I hit the nail salon next, and got a mani/pedi, and felt completely spoiled.

Lunch was yummy - a turkey artichoke panini from Panera with a caesar side salad. Strangely enough, I had enough room to finish the whole meal - that's rare. It was packed in Panera, though, and I had snagged a little 2-person table. I don't know what imp suggested it, but I invited a perfect stranger to sit and eat with me. She was a very nice lady named Sue, and we had a great chat about everything and nothing. I wished her a good day and she wished me a happy birthday, as I continued my shopping.

I hit Goodwill - or "The Clothing of the Dead" as my friend Shari calls it, looking for a denim jacket. Normally, I don't find much at Goodwill, but Oh Holy Shit, did I make the find of the century today. Now, I have to tell you about my Favorite Pants Ever. I found these great cargo pants at Ann Taylor Loft about 40 pounds ago, and bought them in a size 10, because I didn't think I'd ever get any smaller than that. "Psyche!" said the Weight Loss Fairy! And I had to give those pants away. Imagine my surprise when I found those very same pants - not the same pair, mind you, because that wouldn't have been very fun - in a different color and a smaller size today at the Goodwill! I ran into the changing room, gave them the quick once-over, and tried them on. They fit! Score! And they're a size 2. Double score! Are you ready for the slam-dunk? They were $3.50!!!!! Thank you Birthday Gods! And the Weight Loss Fairy!

But the imp was not to be silenced. Oh no. That freakin' imp got me into big-time trouble in the next store I entered. See, up by the Goodwill there's a little "adult" store called the Birds 'n' Bees. I've been curious, and since my anniversary's coming up (18 years with the WCM, oy!), I figured I could probably pick up a little something for that occasion. Well, I went in and looked around, trying valiantly not to blush and totally failing. I was also trying to ignore the guy trailing me around the store, but I eventually shook him. Ew. I found a little something in black that I thought might work, but had to try it on, and got the sales guy to open the dressing room for me. Yes, sales guy. Unlocking the door, he asked "A little surprise for the hubby or boyfriend?" Well, that goddamn imp twisted my tongue and when I opened my mouth, it said "both."

I don't know what possessed me - other than the imp - but I knew I was in for it after I got out of there. (The outfit worked, by the way.)

Sure enough, the sales guy hit on me. Now, answer me this: if I had both a husband and a boyfriend, do you really think I'd have enough time and energy to juggle another man into there? Um, no. I had to decline his most thoughtful offers. I guess I won't be shopping there in the future...

The birthday fairy took me to a Spa for a facial next, where my fantastic facialist spent nearly two hours going over my skin with this unguent and that potion. She massaged my face, neck, shoulders, chest, arms, hands, legs, feet, and scalp. I glow, people, with total relaxation and satisfaction.

I'm now going to step into the shower and sluice myself with other potions and lotions. Bring on the bearnaise, people, and put a candle on my steak. I'm doing my birthday in style!!