Scorched Suzy

One of the weirdest things I've experienced during the last Year of Rapid Weight Loss is that sometimes the weight disappears from odd places and I don't realize its impact until I actually experience pain.

Last night, for instance, the WCM took me out to dinner (I know! He actually parted with cash! Voluntarily, even!) at Champp's at our local retail emporium. I discovered that they have really hard wooden chairs there as I sat down rather abruptly and banged my tailbone, since it was no longer cushioned by an ample derriere. Ouchie.

During our dinner, our car baked in the hot sun - it seemed to be more particularly on the passenger side of the car. Since I was wearing Bermuda shorts, and they are quite long, I didn't really think about the hot seat upon which I would soon be recumbent. The second I put my already bruised tushie on the seat though, I received a second shock to my already sensitive nether regions: my twat got burnt! See, before WLS, my twat was always held away from the seat by the amplitude of my tuckas. Now, she made direct contact (well, through the Bermuda shorts & panties) with the hot seat and got momentarily scorched. Ouchie, again.

On hearing my yelp, the WCM turned to me and asked very solicitously "burned your Suzy*?" Yep, got it in one. Bastard never offered to kiss it and make it better, though.

sigh.


*my mother-in-law always referred to her twat as her "Suzy." It always makes me giggle - why not Pamela? Josephine? Magda? My theory is that it was her husband's first extra-marital girlfriend's name, and she was cleverly calling her a cunt. The WCM doesn't think that his mother was quite that clever though. I tend to agree.