I scream for ice cream

I've just been told to stop fellating my ice cream cone.

I can't help it, though! Ice cream is such a sensual treat for the mouth - creamy, unctuous, smooth - that I just enjoy it a shade too much. I can't help it that my eyes slowly close in ecstasy when I lick the ice cream from base to tip. Flattening my tongue and laving it around the base - better to stop the drips, see - leaves it covered in sweetness. When I close my lips around the tip of my cone, I get a mouthful of delicious cream. What a reward!

Man, I love me some ice cream.