In which I am mightily irked

So for the first bit of fun today, we have Me being the victim of Attempted Grand Theft Auto. Yes, some idiot wanker tried to steal my car Saturday night. I didn't catch them in flagrante delicto so to speak, but instead viewed the aftermath of their not-so-handiwork on Sunday morning just before my anticipated jaunt to the supermarket.

As an aside, I have to tell you just how much I enjoy my jaunt to the supermarket. You see, the supermarket is my "alone time." It's WCM-sanctioned shopping. It doesn't matter how much I spend in the supermarket, as it's in the pursuit of a good meal, and that is something that the WCM stands firmly behind. He epitomizes the phrase "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I always figured that the way to a man's heart was with a broadsword, but again, I digress... Ah, yes, alone time.

You have to know that my supermarket has a Starbucks in it. It has been freshly renovated, brightly lit, and cannily designed to display its wares to their utmost advantage. The produce displays are especially aesthetically pleasing, with much consideration being given to variance of texture and the juxtaposition of colors between the tomatoes and the haricots verts. The chiaroscuro of the eggplants and cauliflower is truly breathtaking. The whole place is a visual orgy, and I fall victim to it every Sunday, flinging away my shopping list and spending with reckless abandon (ok, not really, but work with me here - I'm going for dramatic effect). Yet, I was to be denied my time this Sunday. Yes, cruelly denied. Alas!

My car, my humble conveyance, had been violated sometime between 2:30 Saturday afternoon and 9:30 Sunday morning. Some youthful miscreant had slid a Slim Jim down the door, popped the lock, and attempted to start the car by jamming a screwdriver into the ignition shaft in lieu of a key. My car, obviously traumatized by this rough manhandling, refused to turn over and submit, and was abandoned.

So my Sunday morning was spent dealing with the Insurance Company (who I have nothing but praise for so far) and the County Cops (with whom I am somewhat irked).

The irony of the situation? My neighbors had gone to the beach for the weekend, leaving their (much more expensive) car defenseless in their driveway. It was untouched. The woman across the street from me has a lovely Lexus SUV. It was similarly unmolested. I live right next door to a County Cop. And yet, my poor Chevrolet piece of shit Malibu was invaded, violated, and abandoned by vandalous cretins.

I am irked.

On the bright side, my rental car, which is completely covered by insurance, is fantastic!