Saturday, September 29, 2007


So today I went out wearing a lovely burgundy wrap top with a really neat lariat necklace made of garnets that just barely grazes the top of my cleavage.

I don't think my breasts have ever been appreciated in quite the quantity that they were today.

First, the Starbuck's barista said "Hello" and "Thank you very much," to them.

Then, the Acme guy told them "I don't know if we have any more lunchboxes. I'll have to check."

After that, the waiter at dinner tonight served my delicious fish tacos and wished my breasts "Bon Appetit."

I felt like I was Captain Chesty McChesterton of Team Breast, D-division.

Um, listen fuckers fellas, my bosom doesn't hear, speak, or eat. Look about one foot north. Yes, those blue things? They're my eyes. Look at them when you address me, ok?


Labels: ,

Monday, September 24, 2007

Ok, false alarm

So, perhaps I'm not quite defunct yet. There's still more stuff happening, but not all of it is appropriate to share with the world at large. Which would be all y'all reading this - the world at large. Ah, my grandiose ambitions...

Anyhoo... I continue to be amazed by some of my students. You know, the ones who are actually disappointed that I've forgotten to bring the test to school. I have a whole class full of 'em. How lucky can one teacher get??!!

I have three, yes three, student aides. They are all magnificent in their own way. Chipito* is a most excellent assistant in the helping of confused Level 1 students. He can speak French quite decently, being a French 4 student, and is also fluent in Spanish. He's lively and personable, and manages to be entertaining during first period - which is more than I can say for myself most days. Betsy*, a French 3 student, is a workhorse who grades papers like a demon. She will even do the key. I check her work and put the official grades into the computer, though, as she's much more strict than I am! Plus, she's a student and not allowed to assign grades - duh, that's my job. I'm in awe of her dedication, and grateful for her assistance. She's also willing to help any confused Level 2 (although my regular 2 is more like a Level 1 class than I'm willing to admit) and is a general sweetheart. I'll have Chipito and Betsy for the first semester only.

Bunny*, my third assistant, I'll have all year. He's less motivated than either Chipito or Betsy to do any of the actual "slave" work, but if I have any kind of computer project - a PowerPoint or a puzzle or worksheet to be done, it'll be done and beautiful - as long as I provide the actual French bits. Bunny is a riot, and has always been so, ever since I first met him as a 7th grader 4 years ago.

See, that's a wonderful thing: I know so many of these high schoolers from when they passed through my classroom as middle schoolers. I'm in quite a privileged position now, to observe the changes. Many of them were quite startled at the change in me this year - you know, being smaller and all. A few of them just outright didn't recognize me. The best one - a girl walked in and looked straight at me and asked if I was the substitute for Madame D. I said "I am Madame D." It took her a full minute before she realized I was telling the truth.

Priceless. Absolutely priceless

*obviously not their real names!

Labels: ,

Friday, September 14, 2007


Well, this might just be the end.

I've gone up to teach high school, and am just too frickin' busy to blog. It's a shame, really, because there are so many things that happen daily that crack me up, but I just have no time. Really. None.

Ok, just a wee share before I go away for another month: I've found a new work husband. I haven't had a work husband since I worked at S Middle School. T Middle didn't have enough men - certainly none that were eligible for work husband status. But it took me about 2 days at a retreat in August to identify and snare a work husband at M High. Fabulous!

Oh, and another share - one of my students is a complete crack-up, who told me that I went "too hard on the H-dub." (H-dub being HW, or short for Home Work).

And, also, my tiny French class that made Dora the Explorer perverted for me. It's not bad enough that I can't see "Dora's Pirate Adventure" without reading "Dora's Private Adventure," and that's definitely a different sort of movie. Swiper, no swiping, indeed. Cousin Diego, you cad.

Lastly, my two independent study kids, who've done a myspace page in French as an assignment. MySpace kind of sucks because there's not enough content to put into French, but the kids were pretty good about doing it. And, since they're mischeivous little monsters, they've looked up all of the slang/curse words in the dictionary and are trying to sneak the verb "baiser" into everything they produce. Ahem, Madame was not born yesterday, you two.

So, I am redefining the word defunct. You may hear from me, you may not. I'm busy, and happily so.