Funny shit, y'all!
Yes, people, we laughed at the drunk. We laughed a lot.
I know it's completely uncharitable and more than a bit reprehensible, but it was funny as shit, yo. This woman put away 6 glasses of white wine in a little under an hour. She was all "I know I'm a l'il bit tipshy, but I gotta uphol' my reputaptashun." She had an arm around our Principal, who is retiring in a month, and was leaning heavily on her saying "Ah'm gonna mish ya, BB." To my knowledge, no one has ever called our Principal "BB." Heeeeeheeeee! Go drunken colleague!
After she went into the host's kitchen, ostensibly for a refill, we clustered together on the sofas and giggled. Aside from the drunken colleague, we also discussed the much younger girlfriend of one of our colleagues, the dangers of making love in a champagne-glass-shaped hot tub, some of our students that we wish would get in a bathtub more, no matter what its shape, and my button-popping Mardi Gras escapade during period 2 today.
Oh yes, there was an escapade.
Since I'm a French teacher, I can get away with throwing a whole day of parties under the guise of "Making a Cultural Connection." Look it up, it's in the ACTFL standards, baby. I gave the kids the recipe for King Cake so they could make it for the party, I bought beads for everyone, and devoted two days to exploring the culture and traditions of New Orleans and Mardi Gras. However, thanks to the "Girls Gone Wild" series of videos, all of my students automatically associate Mardi Gras with young girls exposing their breastesses in order to get beads. My oft-repeated slogan since last Thursday has been "Beads for Brains, not for Boobies."
During period 2, I distributed the beads first thing, with a fair amount of humor about boys trying to pull up their shirts and show me their "moobs" (man-boobs). After a little while, someone discovered the bean in the King Cake and I went to take off the huge strand of decorative beads I was wearing to pass them over to the King of the Class for the day. I accidentally ripped the top button off my v-neck cardigan, exposing a fair amount of my cleavage and the lacy top of my bra. Without batting an eye, one of my lovely young men called out "Here, Madame!" and tossed me his beads.
Beads for Brains, indeed.