Thursday, May 25, 2006

Hershey Park!

Tomorrow, I get to chaperone the Band & Chorus field trip to Hershey Park. First they perform for the judges, then we go into the park and ride the coasters. I adore this trip and am on the dedicated chaperone list every year. I usually ride the chorus bus, but this year my favorite students are in the band.

Yeah, yeah, pipe down. I know that teachers aren't supposed to have favorites, but when you meet my kids, you can't help but fall in love with some of them. There's the Girlie group - high-achieving smart girls like H., Jillie Bean, Annie, Sydney, & Claire (there are many others but I only have so much space, you know?). Then there are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - Dylan, Hasan, Justin, and Matt - so named because having them all together in one class produces mass chaos and hysteria. While they are the world's most disruptive force in a classroom, outside of the school, they are a fun bunch of boys with great jokes.

I'm going to hit all the roller coasters I can. Piggy & Tazzy would be proud.

Monday, May 22, 2006


I have a sinus infection. Ick.

I spent the day in bed with an icepack - the only thing that alleviated the fire in my face - with a break to lurch out to the doctor. Driving whilst fevered is similar, I'd imagine, to driving drunk. Everything was just a bit fuzzy and spinny.

My temperature reached 103.5 today - woo woo!

My face is leaking out my nose. It's revolting.

Just an update.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Light Flirtation

I'll admit it - I'm a flirt.

I flirt with everyone, too - men, women, family pets, it really doesn't matter. Location is similarly irrelevant, because I'll flirt anywhere. What began in Ninth grade with Andy, Alistair, and Mike, has turned into a 24/7 Flirt-o-RamaTM.

Exhibit A - Trader Joe's, yesterday afternoon.

I was browsing the cheese selection, having a hankering for some Saint André, when I was accosted by a short, swarthy septagenarian - himself a flirt - who was having a laughing "argument" with a woman of his generation. Instead of brushing off the pint-sized paisan, I deployed Insta-flirtTM and was able to banter satisfactorily. "Oh really sir? I would never have known you were 74! You're so sprightly and nattily dressed!" I almost had to arm-wrestle his ladyfriend for him.

Exhibit B - My classroom, this morning

One of my more recalcitrant students was clomping his way into class, posturing the whole way about 'dis wack class. I brought out my bottle of Flirt LiteTM and gave myself a little spritz. I put my arm around his shoulders and smiled up at him, saying "You know Bud*, you're my favorite student today! How would you like to help collect the homework and pass out the papers?" I wasn't really surprised when he slung his books on a desk and said "Git your homework out peoples, 'cause I'm collectin' it, yo!" Such is my power.

Exhibit C - Marshall's, this afternoon

In the changing rooms, trying on pup tents disguised as dresses, another zaftig shopper emerged wearing an extremely flattering caftan. "Honey, you should soooo get that!" I gush, having recently imbibed in my favorite beverage, FlirtaccinoTM. "You look gorgeous in it!" My Rubenesque object dimpled charmingly, and I felt like the sun came shining out through the clouds.

This last exhibit serves as a reminder that flirtation can be dangerously addictive. It might be time for me to start attending Flirtaholics Anonymous meetings. "Hey, y'all! My name's Bronwen, and I'd just loooove to get to know all you fabulous people! Especially you in the front, handsome!" Somehow, I think those meetings would be a challenge...

*not his real name, duh!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006


I just noticed that I hadn’t made a post here since April. I’ve become a dilettante, a dabbler, no longer a devotee of my blog. I’ve had some events take place and Miss Peanut has said some hilarious things, but I haven’t had the urgent “I’ve got to blog this” feeling that I used to. Is the blog jumping the shark?

Teaching has taken up much of the time I’d have used to blog. The end of the year is such hard work, as all the students are burned out. It’s like pulling teeth to get work out of them. Truthfully, many of my colleagues and I are crispy around the edges, too, as we struggle to educate the masses every day. May and June are usually an uphill battle for teachers. This May, because I’ve been so creative recently, I’ve made a lot of new materials for my classes. I’m very happy to say that the majority of my students have been favorably engaged and learning. It hasn’t been easy, though.

The WCM had a birthday – his 42nd, the old fart – in early May. I actually did well on the present front. I didn’t have to return a single gift.

I had to give a eulogy for a goldfish earlier this month, as Miss Peanut’s pet Swimmy went to the great fishbowl in the sky. We gave him a “burial at sea” with Miss Peanut as chief flusher mourner. Poor fish, he never really had a chance.

My elder dog, Slider, had to have a growth removed from the inside of his ear. It was nasty! Surgery was a breeze, although he was delightfully groggy for the next couple of days. We pampered him with lots of petting and coat brushing.

We got a new washer and dryer. Now the WCM races me to them with baskets of laundry. Oh shit, he got there first. Now he gets to do the laundry. It’s a psychological game I’m playing. I’m winning, too.

Mother’s Day was fine. The WCM took me out to dinner and Miss Peanut made me a card. I got so weepy over it – I’m sentimental enough to begin with, but to see “I love you Mommy” in her crooked baby handwriting just did me in. Gawd, I’m a sap.

I’ve changed supermarkets this month. The old one has been pissing me off bothering me with piddly things for a year now: discontinuing my favorite items, constantly rearranging stock so it’s never in the same place two weeks in a row, and horrible customer service. I figured it was worth an extra few pennies to go back to a market that I liked, so I switched back. You know, I’ve spent less on groceries the last two weeks since I switched back.

I’ve cut way back on the caffeine consumption – I’ve gone down a size on my morning brew and cut out Starbucks almost entirely (I allow myself one every Friday, and that’s it). It’s been hell.

For me, the year has been winding up. This time next month, I’ll be on my deck sunning myself with a glass of iced tea and a good book, trying not to think of school. I’m holding on to that thought with the concentration of a tightrope walker.

I’ll try to be less of a dilettante (which was my word of the day today) in the future.