It’s been a long time since I’ve felt sexy. Recently, though, I’ve been feeling my mojo, though, and have decided that I want to keep that feeling. It’s nice. So today I went shopping – specifically, lingerie shopping. What a ridiculous farce that was!!
First, let me preface this by saying I haven’t worn anything remotely sexy to bed – for sleeping or, ahem, not sleeping in about 16 years. The WCM is not a fan of lingerie, see? It costs money, right? He’s happiest with naked, so that’s how it’s been, unless it was cold out, and then it was flannel. However, I’ve decided that I’m dressing for me first now, and I want to sleep sexy, dammit!
I went to a smallish department store first, where I found relatively little that blew up my dress. There was this one little thing I tried on:While pretty on the hanger, with my short spiky hair, it made me look like a refugee from Tinkerbelle's grove that done grew up all of a sudden, with the requisite wrinkles and gray hairs. Even the padded bra couldn't quite distract me from the freak show of wrinkles and sag that I call my torso. It was ridiculous. There were a couple of other similar disasters until I called a halt and headed for the mall.
Alas, no, that's not me. The whole lacing and unlacing thing was what ultimately decided me against this contraption. I'm looking for some "easy access" garment, just in case my man indeed get fired up by it. The last thing I want to do is spend 20 minutes getting in and out of my lingerie. If I can't lift it over my head and be done with it in two seconds, frankly, I'm not interested. Although, it wasn't bad once it was on.
Similar disasters ensued at other stores, including this one:
Pretty, huh? It was, at least, a step in the right direction - covering most of the freak show, but, unfortunately, letting quite a bit hang loose. Um, no. Next!!
So, finally, I headed to where I should have started: Victoria's Secret. In about two minutes of searching and 3 minutes of trying on, I found something lovely that doesn't make me look like one of Tinkerbelle's fairy friends or like I should be working in a cheap bordello. It's fairly sleek, somewhat lacy, covers the necessary bits while revealing just enough of the fun parts to be sexy. Since I bought it, and its matching thong (yikes!), I'm not going to post a picture of it. You can just use your imagination!